Unwanted Emotions: It’s Complicated
From the day we are born to the day we die, we feel, live, remember, share hundreds of emotions. Emotions are such an integral part of our lives that we have already been through a dozen emotions by the time we understand what it is exactly and how it affects us. Understanding emotions is not an easy task. Emotions don’t have any principles, rules which govern it. It is neither a field of arts, the science of mathematics. Emotion is a psychological concept, hence we need to understand unwanted emotions from that perspective to get better clarity.
Many people find it challenging to cope up with all the emotions they are going through, and they don’t know what to do with all those excessive feelings. Because of that reason, many people think about getting rid of emotions. Well, getting rid of emotions is neither an easy task, nor it is advisable. One should always try to find a way to talk with someone about how they are feeling. The more you share, the more control you will have over your emotions. Your focus should not be on how to get rid of emotions, but the focus should be on how to get rid of unwanted emotions.
What are Unwanted Emotions:
Unwanted emotions, often known as negative emotions, are those emotions that make you feel sad, miserable, gloomy, and hopeless. Negative emotions not only disturb your mental peace, but it also affects your behavior, attitude, and thinking.
Controlling these emotions could be a tricky thing. Anger, jealousy, misery, sadness, hate are some of the common examples of unwanted emotions. Controlling them is necessary because if they are not controlled, then they will destroy your life, will make you arrogant, and may even cause extreme disturbances in your mind, which can push you over the cliff and may cultivate suicidal thoughts in your mind. Thus it is necessary to take the reins of negative emotions and avoid them as much as possible.
How to Control and Avoid Unwanted Emotions:
Humans are a social animal. Having all sorts of emotions are part of our life. Some of these emotions will make us feel good, while some of them will test our patience. You cannot completely avoid negative or unwanted emotions. You just can’t. The reason being is they are part of everyone’s life, and without them, life has no meaning. But one should always try to control such emotions. You can also try to avoid them as long as you can or get rid of them by getting over them. By crying about the same things day after day will only make your emotional baggage heavier. Following are some of the ways through which you can control and avoid unwanted emotions:
- Keep your emotional baggage in check:
All of us are carrying some sort of emotional baggage throughout our life. You must know how heavy baggage you can lift. Here the emotional baggage refers to all those past events, moments, incidents, people who no longer exist in your life, but they still affect you in some way.
It could be a decision you made which you regret or a person you left a long time ago. It could be a devastating loss of someone who was close to you or an unwanted situation that you wanted to avoid, but you failed. Emotional baggage is heavy to carry. Thus, try to get over your past and focus on the present.
- It’s Life:
Your life is full of happy-sad moments. You cannot have only one of them. Both of them are necessary to keep the balance in your life. So don’t feel bad and push yourself too much if things are going south. It’s life, shit happens. Try to learn from these moments and keep moving forward.
- Try to cope up with negative feelings:
Negative feelings are the root cause of unwanted emotions. Try to avoid such feelings. That doesn’t mean to suppress what you feel, but it means to channelize your anger, hate, jealousy in doing something better and for the greater good. Humans are full of mistakes so try to cut some slack for people who hurt you. Don’t waste your emotions on those people who do not care about you.
- Learn to forgive and move on:
Learning forgiveness is not only necessary to forgive other people, but also to forgive yourself. The moment you forgive yourself for something you did not intend to do intentionally, but yet it happened, and now it is making you feel guilty. Learn to forgive yourself for such moments. This doesn’t mean you do something terrible intentionally and then forgive yourself for it. That is unacceptable. Moving on in your life is also necessary as it will leave the scars of the past behind.
- Express your feelings:
Sharing and Expressing what you feel is the best way to get rid of those unwanted emotions, feelings, and vibes which have been bothering you for a long time. Talking to your close ones may give you comfort and a clear mind. You will feel much better after expressing what you are feeling. Not only will your unwanted emotion be out, but you might even get advice or a solution from someone. Learn to express what you feel.
Feel Everything. Keep what you want:
The golden rule is to feel every emotion that comes in your way. But it is necessary to determine which emotions you really need to keep and which you don’t. Learn to handle these things. It might not be easy in the start, but it will someday. Till then, do not allow your emotions to take control over you. It would be best if you were the one in the driving seat. If you remain positive and try finding your way out of the debris of negative feelings, you will be okay.